Wednesday, November 29, 2000

Ahab vs. The Waco Whale President-elect(?) Mini-Me has not
yet started gnawing on his cat, as the "Austin Powers"
Mini-Me did to the hairless Mr. Bigglesworth.

But W. is starting to weird me out.

Why is our kinda-sorta chief executive the low man on his own
totem pole?

We knew that his political nannies told him stuff only on a need-to-know basis. But now that the guy is
seconds away from the White House, we learn that his handlers deal with him on a needs-not-to-know basis.

Last week in Austin, our Wannabe President George Bush, miniature clone of President George Bush,
happily told reporters that Dick Cheney had "had no heart attack."

The hospital, the Cheney family and Mr. Bush's press aide, Karen Hughes, knew that Mr. Cheney had, that
morning, undergone a heart procedure. But Ms. Hughes did not tell that to her boss before he spoke so rosily
and ignorantly about Mr. Cheney's condition.

When the election ended, Mini-Me was shocked that he had not won in a landslide. His strategists had
apparently failed to inform him that things were getting tight, just as they hadn't alerted him that he was
cratering in New Hampshire. Did they not trust him with the information, fearing he might get cranky?

Presidents get dangerously insulated in the White House. But this boy's in a bubble before he even gets to
the Oval bubble.

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